


Fighter

by Mischiefy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec becomes Special Agent Lightwood, And a particularly violent scene, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But it takes effort, But it's later in the story, Canon-ish until a certain moment, He is a badass, He just wants to save Jace, Hurt Alec Lightwood, I feel like I should add:, M/M, Malec endgame, Poor Alec, Saves the world, Spy!AU, These tags are really messed up, more or less, rated for language, really - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-05-21 09:03:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14912448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischiefy/pseuds/Mischiefy
Summary: Jace is on the run with Sebastian and Clary Fairchild, Magnus has broken up with him after that mess with Camille and Alexander... Well, he is not handling it all well.Quite the opposite, actually.He is desperate.....therefore, when the Consul herself makes him an “interesting” but dangerous offer, he doesn't think twice: he accepts immediately - he'd do anything to help his parabatai, especially if he gets to kill that asshole of Sebastian and forget about his broken heart all together in the process....or, the spy!AU in which the Clave has its own FBI (which, by the way, is called ID6) and Alec, as usual, gets dragged into something he doesn’t even understand.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language. If you find any mistakes, please keep this in mind or -if you are willing- notice them to me.  
> Thank you
> 
>  N.B. I re-read, by absolute chance, some of the chapters of this story, and they do need major corrective work. Still, I really have no time whatsoever at the moment to fix all the mistakes.  
> Please, bear with them- I'll try and get all of this fixed as soon as I can.
> 
> Enjoy

 

 

Alexander Lightwood is having a restless sleep when  _the_  fire message appears on the polished desk of his bedroom, in Idris.

 He startles awake with a jolt, seeking immediately the dagger hidden under his cushion.

The reassuring feeling of the cool metal against his fingertips helps him reconnect with reality.

He takes a deep breath, falling with his head back on the hard cushion for a moment, before sighing and sitting up in the middle of the bed.

He is dripping with sweat, shivering.

Alec runs mindlessly a hand on his parabatai rune- something he now does every other minute-, trying to spot any subtle emotion that could be flowing towards him from the other side of the bond.

Nothing.

He feels fucking nothing. And it is driving him crazy.

He has an almost physical need to do something –anything- to help Jace but from here, in Idris, he  _knows_ he is useless.

_If only Magnus was here, I could…._

He stops himself from completing the sentence- it really is counterproductive thinking about Magnus and the mess his heart is just now.

All of his efforts have to be focused on finding his brother. He will have time to heal himself  _after_.

It’s in that moment that his eyes notice for the first time the dim glow coming from his desk.

_It must be a fire message,_ he thinks.

_But why would anyone write me at –_  he glances at the clock on his nightstand-  _3:00 a.m.?_

_It must be importan_ - _Jace._

He is up on his feet even before his mind manages to complete the thought, rushing to catch the burning piece of paper floating just a centimetre above the table.

**“Meet me in ten minutes outside your house.** **Jia Penhallow”** , it reads, and Alec almost drops the message in surprise.

_…the consul?_

He frowns at the piece of burning paper in his hands, wondering distractedly whether it’s some sort of ambush or if it’s really Jia Penhallow waiting for him at his doorstep, before shrugging.

It’s not like he cares at this point, is it?

Be it the consul or Sebastian –Angels, he almost _hopes_ it’s Sebastian. Alec’s going to kill him the very moment he as much as catches a glimpse of his sorry, repugnant ass- there’s no way he’s not showing up at the appointment.

Does he know he’s doing something really, incredibly foolish and reckless? Of course he does.

Does he care? Nope, not really.

He strips off of his pyjamas and puts hastily on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt.

He ties a dagger at his ankle and tucks a seraph blade inside his leather jacket, fastening his stele in the elastic band around his right wrist.

_Better safe than sorry, I suppose._

He rushes towards the window and opens it quietly.

After years of attempts, he is very well aware that the only way to sneak out of the house unnoticed is climbing down the window –which, thank the Angel, is not very high.

So he jumps down, landing softly on the grass, and takes a good look at his surroundings.

It all seems quiet.

_Well, if this is an ambush, my ambusher is pretty stupid-_ he thinks, indifferent.

 

With the witchlight held tightly in his hand, he moves slowly and silently towards the main street, managing to reach the entrance door unharmed.

A polite “cough cough” from behind his shoulders startles him, and he turns around swiftly.

….just to be greeted by the friendly figure of Jia Penhallow, standing there with a smirk on her lips.

His eyes widen slightly as he hesitantly takes the proffered hand and shakes it firmly.

“Consul Penhallow”- he greets politely, a bit out of breath.

_It’s not a trap_ \- he thinks, almost incoherently.

His heart pounds harder in his chest.

_This must be about Jace._

The consul smiles.

“Mr. Lightwood. I’m sorry for…” she gestures with her hand towards the house “the vagueness of my message.” she says, her eyes studying closely his expression.

“You took a great risk, showing up here tonight.” 

Careful to keep his face blank, he nods at her.

“I know, but it wasn't a risk I wasn’t willing to take.” 

The consul smiles at him, seemingly satisfied with his answer.

She reminds him inexplicably of that half-invisible, smiling cat of the film Simon had forced him to watch back in New York- what was it? Aline in wonderworld?

“Very well then, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.  But…I’d rather do it in private, if you don’t mind, so if you’d follow me…”

Before receiving any answers from his part, she turns her back and starts walking quickly down the road.

He is hot behind her heels, his head reeling.

_Does this mean there’s hope? Have they found where Jace is being held? Do they have Sebastian?_

Before he can even start voicing one of his many questions, the Consul gestures for him to stay silent.

“I’m aware you have many questions, Mr. Lightwood, and I am going to address every and each of them. But you have to wait until we arrive at our destination. Is that clear?”

And Alec immediately recognizes it for what it is- an order.

So he is quick to answer an-“Of course, ma’am”, wondering, for the first time, in what situation he is exactly getting himself into.

They walk quietly for about another half an hour and it’s still pitch black when they reach the north demon tower.

Then, the consul stops abruptly and swirls around, facing Alec.

Her eyes are cold, calculating, as they look at him and he does his best to glare back at her- he’s not so easily scared, damn it!

“Mr Lightwood, whatever thing you may see from now on is strictly classified. You aren’t allowed to talk about it with anyone, on pain of death. Understood?”

“Understood” he answers firmly, looking up at the tower with a subtle thrill of apprehension.

Nobody knows what’s inside it, what fuels the wards around the city.

For all of his knowledge, all the towers are locked from the inside and inaccessible to anyone.

_Well, apparently not, seeing as the Consul is currently burning a…what? A hole? Which must take inside it._

He can’t help but shiver.

There are certain things that you, as a shadowhunter, are taught to fear, and the power of the towers is one of them.

He stays there, petrified, until the Consul turns around to look at him.

“Are you strong enough for this, young Lightwood?” she asks, her eyes boring into his.

His mind goes back to the gaping, painful hole of emotions inside his parabatai rune, the deaths and destruction brought on them all by Sebastian –that bastard has killed his little brother, his Max, for God’s sake!- and he knows he can’t simply turn his back to this, whatever _this_ is.

So he nods firmly, squaring his shoulders.

“I am, ma’am.”

She observes him a moment longer, nods back then steps inside the tower- Alec follows suit.


	2. A chat with the Consul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language. If you find any mistakes, please keep this in mind or -if you are willing- notice them to me.  
> Thank you
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

_That must have been a portal_  is the first thing Alec thinks, once he steps through the dark hole at the bottom of one of the fucking demon towers.

_Because there is no way the office – an office, of all things…-he is standing in is what’s inside one of  Alicante’s almighty demon towers._

_Really. There are family photos hanging on the walls - family photos!- and neon lamps lighting up the whole room-neon lamps inside a tower full of demon power!_

He is positive his jaw has reached the floor.

The Consul smirks at his expression.

“Quite mundane, isn’t it? But I assure you, we are in one of the towers of Alicante.”

She gestures for him to follow as she marches down the corridor, waving politely at the few people still working busily at their desks at this ungodly hour of the morning.

Reached the end of the corridor, they climb a few steps and the Consul pushes a wooden door open.

Before entering, Alec manages to catch the glimpse of a little bronze plate hanging next to the door.

“ **Jia Penhallow, Head of ID6** ” it reads.

He frowns- _ID6?_

Turns out that, behind the wooden door, there’s another office.

It’s much smaller than the other one, being obviously just for one person, and Alec’s eyes are immediately drawn to the glass wall behind the mahogany desk.

There’re blue flames shining brightly at the other side of the glass, and their gentle, constant roar makes the floor of what is evidently Jia’s office tremble.

Alec shivers again.

Demonic energy looks just as he has always imagined it, imposing, terrifying, but tamed.

And it’s so, so close to him, he can feel its power, he can almost taste it on his tongue.

Jia coughs loudly to reclaim his attention and he looks at her quickly, a bit startled.

She gestures for him to take a seat as she draws the curtain to cover the glass wall and switches the lights on.

 Alec obeys, settling carefully on the comfortable, leather chair at the other side of the desk.

He feels… on edge, his heart thumping loudly in his ribcage as he waits for Jia to speak.

She looks at him in the eyes, running a hand through her dark hair, and smiles tiredly.

“Mr. Lightwood, I have promised you answers and you’ll get them, but I have to ask you to let me talk first. Can you do it?”

Alec shifts uneasily on the chair.

There’s a part –a _big_ part- of him that’s pushing him to say no.

He doesn’t care about whatever it is she wants to talk to him about. He wants to know about Jace, and he wants it _now_.

But her question is, of course, rhetorical- he can only nod, politely, waiting with his heart in his throat.

“These, Mr. Lightwood,” she begins, crossing and uncrossing her fingers on the desk “are the headquarters of ID6, Clave’s intelligence department. We work in secrecy, unbeknownst to all but the Inquisitor and the Defense Council. Each Demon tower hosts one of our bases, but this is the most important. I’d explain to you the role of our agency better, but I’m afraid I must go straight to the point.”

She looks at him expectantly, and Alec almost rolls his eyes as he nods his understanding.

He doesn’t _care_ about any of the shit she’s saying- he wants to know about Jace, Clary, and Sebastian.

“We have gathered…intelligence about Sebastian” She goes on, and Alec’s now listening closely, practically hanging off her words “And we may have found a way to bring Mr. Wayland and Mr. Fairchild back, destroying him in the process.”

Alec widens slightly his eyes in surprise, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest.

He lets out the breath he hasn’t even realized he’d been holding and sits back, relieved, into the chair.

Jia smiles warmly at his reaction.

“But it’s a dangerous mission, and we need… let’s say, an agent with…strong reasons and unwavering loyalty to our case. I looked through your dossier, Mr. Lightwood. You are loyal, both to the Clave and to your family. You are talented, able with your body and your weapons. I admit I think you are the perfect man for the job” she states, drumming nervously her fingers on the desk.

And Alec.. well, to be fair, the only thing he is thinking about is that there is a way, for him, to help Jace. And that he doesn’t want anyone else handling the matter but himself.

Before he can say anything, the Consul raises a hand to stop him.

“I haven’t finished yet, Mr. Lightwood. There are two more things I need to let you know.

First and foremost, in order for you to take part in this, you’ll need to be a member of the Agency. I can’t let you in on state secrets otherwise- I’m sure you understand. But once you’re in, I have to warn you that you can’t get out. We require service for life.”

She clears her throat, pausing for a moment- the words _service for life_ playing over and over again in Alec’s mind.

“Secondly, the mission we’re talking about is not easy. It’d be very demanding for a highly trained field agent, Mr. Lightwood. For someone still new to this world, I cannot imagine how hard it would be, should you accept.”

She sighs and stares directly at him.

“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Alec nods a bit numbly.

“I’ll give you ten minutes, Mr. Lightwood, to make up your mind. And while I think you really are the perfect man for the job, I encourage you to think both with your heart _and_ with your brain”

With that, she stands up and slips out of the room, leaving Alec alone with himself.

_Fuck_

He massages his temples, feeling already a tremendous headache coming up.

His only certainty is that he wants to help his parabatai.

He  _needs_  to help him.

Truthfully, Alec already knows he’s going to accept Jia’s offer- it gives him the means to save Jace _and_ to kill Sebastian. He has to accept it.

The only thing that bugs him is the matter of the “service for life”.

What does that mean?

Living here, in Idris, for the rest of his life? Living a life of secrecy?

He runs a hand through his hair, sighing, and allows himself to think about Magnus for a moment, his battered heart clenching in pain as the memories of their last encounter replay in his mind.

_“On our second date, I told you that you would have to take me as I came, no questions—”_

_“I need you to live…”_

Alec squeezes his eyes shut, biting hard on his lower lip to prevent the tears from falling.

_“I need you to live”_

But why does Magnus need Alec to live, if he isn’t willing to be with him?

He tastes the metallic taste of blood in his mouth and soothes the cut on his lip with his tongue.

He can’t think like this. He can’t think about Magnus.

Because in this- in this, he is alone.

It would be foolish not to try to save Jace and cling to a love that can’t possibly exist.

He knows himself and knows there is no way in hell he would trust someone else with his parabatai’s life.

So when Jia comes back into her office, he already knows what to tell her. The only thing he wants to ask about is his family.

“What about my life in New York, then? Will I have to move to Idris?”

The consul shakes his head and Alec feels a bit lighter.

“Of course not. It would raise too many questions. No, you will stay in New York as the formal Head of the Institute. You’ll be joined by one of our officers, who will be in charge of the formal aspects of your position. Of course, you will be often required elsewhere for “diplomatic assignments”, which as you surely understand mean task as an ID6 agent. That said, every weekend from the moment you come back from this mission ‘till your maturity as a field agent you’ll have to train with one of our coaches in our base in New York.

As soon as you’ll be cleared for field job, you’ll be required to write down a list of five people at most you intend to inform about your activities with the Agency. …But there will be time for these formalities later on.”

 She arches her eyebrows, a smirk on her lips.

“I gather you chose to formally accept my offer”

Alec nods, noticing how hard his hands are shaking in his lap.

“Then I’ll send your family a message explaining why you have to come back to New York for urgent matters.

You will leave tomorrow morning –which, I’m afraid, means this morning- at 10 a.m.  I’ll send a fire message with the information you need as soon as I get the papers.

Now, It’s time to formally greet you inside ID6, Agent Lightwood” she concludes, standing up with an outstretched hand.

He stands up too and shakes it firmly.

“Thank you.”

She smiles at him and points at the door.

“I trust you can figure the way out by yourself, right?”

He nods.

“Then good luck, Mr. Lightwood. We’ll meet again at the end of your mission”

_Jace, if I can get you out of this mess alive, you’ll fucking owe me, buddy,_ he can’t help but think, leaving Jia’s office without a backward glance.

 

 

 

It’s 6:00 a.m. when he manages to climb back inside his room and the sun is slowly rising.

He hasn’t even closed the window yet, mind still buzzing from the overload of information of the past hours,  that another fire message pops up upon his desk.

He huffs, reaching out for it.

The message is pretty simple.

“ **Agent Lightwood,**

**Pack your belongings. A guard will be waiting for you outside your house at 10 a.m. sharp with a portal.**

**Ask him if he is waiting for you. If he doesn’t answer “I am waiting for Mr. Gideon Lightwood” kill him on the spot.**

**You will portal to the Head’s office in New York.**

**James and Elisabeth will be there waiting for you. You can trust them.**

**They will explain to you the details of the plan and will try to help you carry it out.**

**Be careful: if you find two men, or two women, or a man or a woman who aren’t called as I said, please try to run away from them as soon as you can. They are impostors.**

**Burn this message as soon as you read it.**

**Good luck,**

**Jia Penhallow**

**Consul** ”

Alec shivers, reading it again before drawing a fire rune on the paper.

Watching the message burn between his shaky fingers, he slowly starts to realize the  _magnitude_  of what has just happened to him.

This is not a childish game anymore. They are serious.

_kill him on the spot_

He feels like choking.

He reaches, trembling,  for the bed, sitting down while gasping for air.

Suddenly the room is  _too cold, too empty, too hot_.

Recognizing the first signs of a panic attack, he forces himself to close his eyes and focus on his breaths, trying to steady them.

_One, two three_

_One, two three_

He finally calms down and runs a hand on his face.

_This won’t do._

He has to be able to keep a cool mind.

_Magnus_

Instinctively his mind comes up with the only person he has ever felt safe with, and an image of the warlock appears, clear and bright, in his mind.

_I’m coming back to New York_

He finally realizes, fully aware of the possible consequences of his choice.

_It’s for Jace_ he scolds himself.

_And if you want to save him, then you have to forget everything else._

_This means that you have to understand that you aren’t going back to New York to go declaring your love to a man who doesn’t even want you._

_You are going back for a mission. Jace’s life depends on you._

_And Izzy’s. You can kill Sebastian. You can kill your brother’s murderer._

_This. Is. Not. The. Time. to think about yourself._

_Wake up. You are not a child anymore._

Alec sighs.

He knows he can do it.

Once he’s finally managed to get a hold of himself again, he stands up.

_Ok, first step. Packing._

Trying to keep his mind blank, he takes his rucksack out of the wardrobe and starts to fill it with clothes.

He has left most of his belongings in his room at the Institute anyways, so he really has to put in just a few shirts and a pair of trousers.

He finishes packing at around 7:00 a.m. and decides that it is no use trying to sleep and then getting up in a couple of hours anyway.

So he throws himself under the shower, trusting the invigorating effect of the cold water to help his mind ground itself in the new circumstances.

He gets dressed again and heads to the kitchen, stretching his frozen muscles along the way.

Although the new situation does seem complicated, now that he has made his peace with the new course of events there’s a little flame of hope that burns warmly inside his chest and keeps him going.

He feels lighter than he has in days.

He isn’t really surprised when he finds his parents already up and sitting around the table, a dark expression on their faces.

_The consul must have written them as soon as I left her this morning,_ he thinks.

“Good morning” he greets, reaching immediately for the jug of coffee on the counter.

He pours himself a bit and then turns around to face his parents, sipping slowly from his mug.

“What is the meaning of this, Alexander? Why do you have to go back to the Institute?” His mother’s voice is harsh, sharp.

Her eyes cold as she points her finger to the fire message on the table.

_What do I tell them, now?_

He lowers his eyes to the cup of coffee in his hands and shrugs, trying to appear as casual as he can.

“They need me there, mother. The institute has been left empty, and I guess someone has to check that it is safe before sending us all back, don’t you think?”

He’s managing better than expected, so he hopes his parents will be convinced by his stupid explanation and let him get away with it.

Alec can feel his mother’s eyes boring into his skull, though.

He hears a sigh from his father.

“I guess you are right, son. I just wish they didn’t choose you to go as a guinea pig”

Alec’s eyes shoot up at these words, looking stupefied at his father.

_Is he…Is he worried about me?_

But before he can ask anything, Isabelle steps into the kitchen with a murderous expression on her otherwise still sleepy face.

“Is it true, then? You have to leave?” she yells at him, and he can see tears shining through her lashes.

_Izzy…._

He hugs her tightly, overcoming successfully her efforts to push him away.

She hugs him back just as tightly, burying her face into his shirt.

“Be careful” she whispers, voice muffled.

“Just…just be careful. I can’t lose you too, big brother.”

_I’m so sorry Isabelle…._

He kisses her lightly on her forehead.

“I’ll be careful, I swear” he answers quietly, inhaling the flowery scent of her shampoo.

Then he cast a look to the clock hanging on the wall and freezes.

It’s 9:55. He has to go.

Parting gently from her little sister he sighs.

“I have to go, now. They are waiting for me at 10:00 sharp outside our house.”

Smiling painfully, he tenderly wipes away the tears from her cheeks and turns to their parents.

“I’ll see you in a while,” he says, then heads to the door of the kitchen.

“Take care, son” he hears Maryse whisper and turns to look at her.

“You too, mother”

He smiles forcefully at Izzy and mutters a “Be careful”, before heading to the front door. 

When he opens it, he finds a man standing right next to a purple portal.

He is quite tall, completely bald and dressed in combat gear.

He seems a soldier through and through.

Alec takes up his backpack - he had previously left it on his doorsteps- and asks carefully:

“Are you waiting for me?”

The man doesn’t even blink.

“I’m waiting for Mr. Gideon Lightwood” he answers, coldly.

Alec nods, relieved.

“Well then” he says, closing the door behind himself.

“Lead the way”

The man takes him by his arm and steps with him through the portal.

Alec, however, manages to catch a glimpse of dark hair and red eyes hiding behind the curtain of the living room’s window.

_I’m so, so sorry, baby sister, but I swear I’ll come back to you, taking Jace and Clary back with me too._

 

 


	3. A mission in the making

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My God we are getting there! I'm so excited for next chapter (Mini spoiler: We'll see Magnus, too!!!)!! This one is literally just "getting ready for action"- so you'll just meet James and Elisabeth and.. well, that's it.
> 
> Enjoy! And please, remember that I'm not an English speaker, sooo...  
> If you find any mistakes just notice them to me :)

 

The portal leads them to the familiar office of New York’s Head of the Institute, and Alec is already feeling a bit more comfortable.

He has practically lived here all his life.

There are a man –tall, grey eyes and a dark mop of curly hair- and a woman –tall, blonde and cerulean eyes- already waiting for him in the office.

They both are formally dressed and their faces are plastered in identical welcoming expressions.

 _Their smiles match, by the Angel_ \- he notices with a frown.

The man takes a step forward with an outstretched hand.

“Welcome back, Mr. Lightwood. I’m James and she is Elisabeth.”

Alec nods in greeting and shakes the offered hand.

“Thank you, James. And please, call me Alec.”

James’ smile is sincere, this time, and grey eyes light up, locking with his.

“Very well, Alec. It’s a pleasure to meet you” he says, stepping aside to let him shake hands with Elisabeth.

After the exchange of proper formalities, Elisabeth asks him to follow her as they leave the Head’s office.

The Institute is empty and Alec can physically hear the noise their shoes make on the marble floor echoing.

Alec has never seen his home so… quiet.

 _It’s so strange being here without Izzy and Jace_ he thinks, his heart clenching.

He can almost see Izzy’s figure turning around that corner, or Jace’s shadow throwing punches in the training room.

_This is no time to be melancholic, Alec._

_If you succeed, you will have your old life back, more or less, so focus-_ he scolds himself.

Alec can tell that Elisabeth is taking them to the Ops room, as he walks side by side with James.

Mr. soldier’s disappeared off to somewhere as soon as they left the Head’s office, so now there’s just the three of them, navigating silently through the Institute’s corridors as if it were a ghost town.

 _Which it actually is_ , he thinks, as they pass by Izzy’s empty room.

They arrive in the Ops center and Alec is stunned at the sight of a huge, steely door where there was supposed to be none.

Elisabeth turns around and smirks at his reluctantly impressed expression.

“There’s an emergency wing in this Institute- in every Institute, actually. High clearance information here,  _Agent_  Lightwood” she says, underlining the term “Agent” with a teasing smile.

He does his best not to glare at her.

“To access it, you have to be listed on the Agency’s register. Otherwise, it is supposed to be impenetrable” she explains, pushing the doors open.

Alec feels a strange, freezing shiver running down his spine as he steps through the door and looks questioningly at Elisabeth.

“It’s the protective shield, don’t worry” James informs him with a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder _._

The room on the other side is white, aseptic.

There are monitors on the walls and two doors, but the rest of the space is empty.

There’s so much silence.

James closes the door behind them with a tap of his stele on the iron, and the door simply disappears, leaving a white wall in its place.

“Just I, Elisabeth, the consul and now you have access to this room. All you need to do is press your stele on the wall and the door will appear. Of course, there are wards here that are able to tell whether it’s you using your stele or someone else, so don’t worry about that” James explains, noticing his curious stare.

Alec nods, sincerely fascinated.

“Well,  the right door is for the bathroom. It’s one for the three of us, but it’ll have to do.” Elisabeth says, drawing their attention back on herself.

“The left door takes to the bedrooms. Follow me” she says.

Alec follows her through the left passageway and finds himself in a corridor.

It’s really simple, there are four iron doors, two for each side.

 _It reminds me of a hospital, actually, what with the greenish walls and the flat lamps on the ceiling_ , he thinks.

“This is my room, and that is James’. Yours is this first one on the right,” she explains, gesturing for him to go inside.

Since he doesn’t see any handle, he taps with his stele on the steel and presses.

The door opens and he enters the room.

There are no windows and it does feel a bit claustrophobic, but it’s ok.

There’s a bed on the right with a nightstand, lampshades, and a clock, a wooden wardrobe is on the left.

No desk nor table, but he supposes they will work in the other room anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

“We’ll leave you here to… get acquainted with the place. Meet us in ten minutes in the main room”  Elisabeth says, a warm smile on her lips as she closes the door behind them.

Happy to be finally alone, Alec puts down his rucksack, sitting on the bed.

It creaks.

He sighs, letting his eyes wander around.

_I’m here, I’m doing it._

_We’ll save you Jace, whatever it takes._

Realizing he has just ten minutes to arrange his stuff around, he gets up.

He doesn’t think he will be allowed to go in his old room and retrieve some of his things- It’d be obvious his presence in the Institute then- so he settles for emptying his backpack and putting all his clothes in the wardrobe.

It’s very small, but thankfully he has very little clothes.

 _Izzy would fill this up just with a bunch of her shoes- not even all of them_ , he thinks fondly.

But then he remembers the image of Isabelle crying in the middle on their kitchen and has to quickly switch paths of thoughts.

He tries to keep his mind blank, as shirt after shirt fills his wardrobe up.

Then he starts stripping himself off his weapons – all but the dagger at his ankle.

_You never know, right?_

He puts them next to his bed and glances at the clock.

_It’s time._

He heads to the main room and finds Elisabeth and James sitting on the floor, face to face.

As they hear him enter, they smile at him and she pats a hand next to her.

Alec sits, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“Have you settled in ok?” James asks, breaking the silence.

Alec nods  “Yeah”

“Well then. Let’s get right to the information part” Elisabeth says, looking a bit excited.

Alec shifts a bit on the floor and nods.

 

“So there are a lot of things we need to do.

First and foremost, you need to be marked.”

At the alarm in his expression, she rushes to explain.

“Not in  _that_  sense. We are not the circle. We just need to put the ID rune on you, which is a rune effectively contained in the grey book, so it’s actually given by the angel. It has both an identifying function, since everyone who sports that rune is a member of our Agency, and a practical one. It…enhances the control you have on your senses and your body. You will be able to show on your face what you want to be shown… you’ll see. It’s  _fundamental_ in our job. It’s permanent, so… once you have that on you, you won’t be able to remove it. Which means that even if someone tries to de-rune you, they’ll never be able to do it completely. Firstly, because this rune is irremovable, secondly because this rune is visible just to the people that have a matching one. The others will see just an Iratze in its place. Accepting it is just like a formal acceptation of the job. Your file will enter in our database definitely.”

Alec nods.

“… why doesn’t every shadowhunter have one?” he asks after a moment, raising his eyebrows, perplexed.

James shakes slowly his head at his question.

“Alec, It’s irremovable even by the Clave itself, don’t you understand? Plus, it gives us a great deal of advantage over the other shadowhunters.” he explains, and Alec doesn’t like it very much.

Nevertheless, he can’t do anything but nod again.

He is too involved now to have second thoughts.

_It’s for Jace._

“We’ll mark you tomorrow morning or later tonight, if that’s ok with you. Now… well, a lot of shit happened. You need to recharge before getting marked with this” she says, looking for confirmation in his eyes.

He gives her a faint smile and gestures for her to proceed.

“Well then, let’s talk about the mission,” she says, and his attention is now solely focused on her words.

“We can’t give you details now. You have to be marked and we have to assess your abilities first.”

His heart sinks.

_Of fucking course. Why don’t put a test in this oh so simple situation?_

Reading frustration in his glare, Elisabeth shakes her head.

“It’s not what you are thinking, Alex. We have to study for a couple of days how your body reacts to the new rune. We have to teach you some of the basics of this job.

Usually, agents go on their first mission after years of training. You are not ready yet and we won’t put you out there completely defenseless. Moreover, as I’ve already told you, the whole process won’t last more than two or three days.

The set date is this Friday, so you’ll need time to familiarize with its details” and Alec’s eyes widen in surprise.

Today’s Saturday. He has to wait six days to go and try saving his parabatai.

_It’s not too much. You can bear it._

So Alec nods.

Elisabeth pats on his shoulder and gets up.

Alec and James stand up, too.

“Perfect, then. Now we should all eat and then… well, it’s up to you, Alex. You can go sleeping so that we may be able to mark you tonight, or you could try and relax and we’ll mark you tomorrow morning.”

_Relax? How can I relax knowing that Jace and Clary are being held by that madman? How can I let my mind loose if I’m scared of thinking too much?_

Alec shakes his head vehemently.

“I’ll sleep. You can mark me tonight,” he says, firmly.

Elisabeth and James exchange  _a look_  and then an identical grin appears on both of their faces.

“We knew you’d be the man for the job,” Elisabeth says, fondly.

 _Yeah well, none of you is the parabatai of one of the captives,_ he thinks, bitterly.

“Thank you” he answers instead, politely.

“So will you guys go and fetch some food? I need to send a message to the consul and it’ll take some time,” she asks the both of them.

Alec shrugs.

“Yeah, no problem.” then looks at James, waiting for his agreement.

“Works for me,” he says.

“Come on, Alex” James squeezes his shoulder then heads towards the door, pressing his stele on the hard steel.

“‘till later” he waves, smiling politely to Elisabeth, and follows James out of the room.

 

They are turning the corner of the street when James breaks the silence.

“I’m impressed, you know,” he states, and Alec feels James' eyes fixed on him.

“Impressed? Why is that?” he asks, curious.

“Because you are taking this all in stride. You seem so strong. A fighter.” he admits, finally diverting his stare from Alec.

Alec shrugs.

“You have to take it all in stride when Sebastian has a literal part of your soul.” He deadpans.

James lets out a huffed laugh.

“Yeah, you may have a point”

“But still” James continues, as they turn another corner “I admire you. I know how.. difficult it must be for you, to be here in New York again. And you are putting yourself aside for other people. I sincerely don’t know if that’s because you are used to it or if it’s your choice. In both of the cases, it must be hard.”

And Alec is deeply touched from his words and the sincerity they hold, so he forces himself to answer him as truthfully as he can.

“I think it’s a mix of both, you know. After all, we as shadowhunters are made to put ourselves aside in favor of others. And I as a person have always been particularly able to focus on others’ need before mines. And… isn’t it necessary especially in your job, too?”

He asks, curious.

James smirks.

“Our job, Alex” he corrects him, playfully.

“Anyways, it is, but usually people take years to be able to do it as you do.”

Something warm and pleasant stirs in his stomach, and he smiles at James.

“All of this is to say that….well in our job we always have to have each other’s back. And it doesn’t mean just on the field. It refers to all the aspects of one’s life. Trust is fundamental, you know. So… If you ever need something, of any kind, just come to me. I like you, and I’d like to help you in any way I can” James says, and Alec is quiet for a moment, not knowing exactly how to answer to an affirmation of that kind.

He actually is very thankful for the support James is offering, but he has still to find the time to face his own issues by himself, never mind talking about them to others.

Still.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” he settles with saying, hoping not to sound excessively formal.

“Any time,” James says, pointing at the store on the other side of the street.

“Is that it? The mundane store you were talking about?” he asks, and Alec nods.

“Yup. It’s pretty small, but it should have all we need.”

 

 

“Do you usually work in groups of three?” Alec asks while looking for pre-packaged sandwiches in the fridge department.

He finds a few and throws them into the shopping cart.

“Nope. We usually work in couples. You’ll have a partner when you become an official, trained field agent.  Yours is a solo mission now, I’m afraid” James answers while picking up a few bottles of wine – _wine?_ \- and putting them in the cart.

“Where will we put all this stuff?” Alec asks, perplexed, acknowledging the giant amount of food they have piled up in there.

“Oh, don’t worry. In the white room there’s a big refrigerator. It’s still empty because I and Elisabeth arrived just a few hours before you” 

Alec hums, noncommittally, pushing the cart forward.

“You and Elisabeth are partners, then?” he asks, now looking for something for breakfast.

The prolonged silence on the other part tells him he's just said something he shouldn’t have.

So he turns around and looks at James, who is staring at a tuna can as if it has just murdered someone.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s too personal.” he apologizes softly, feeling a bit guilty.

“Oh no, you couldn’t have known,” James says, finally looking at him.

“ Elisabeth and I have been newly partnered for this particular occasion, since… both of our old partners have died in the same mission,” he explains, and Alec understands from his clenched fists that the man is still deeply upset by whatever happened back then.

“Well, talk about putting yourself second” he comments, trying to lighten up the mood.

It works, because James snickers.

“Well, we are more alike than you think, Alex” he comments, focusing his attention back on the tuna.

And Alec wonders if the mischievous tone is just a product of his mind.

 

 

They are back in the white room in half an hour.

James’ company is fun and pleasurable, and Alec thoroughly enjoyed their little trip to the store.

It’s been a welcome distraction.

Elisabeth catches up with them as soon as they step through the door.

She tells Alec she has sent all the details of his arrival to the consul and has asked her to tell his family he is safe and well.

And for that, Alec is extremely grateful.

She and James show Alec the fridge – which is under the right-corner-tile - and place all the stuff inside it.

The three of them sit cross-legged on the floor, eating a sandwich.

Alec finds himself particularly hungry, even though the thought of food has never crossed his mind in the previous hours.

After their lunch, Elisabeth and James force him to go sleep if he wants to have the rune drawn that very night.

He complies easily – he’s been awake since fucking 3:00 a.m., after all-.

So he waves them goodnight at three in the afternoon and throws himself on the bed, still fully clothed.

For the first time since Jace has been taken, he sleeps without nightmares.

 

It’s already ten p.m. when he wakes up again, feeling fully rested.

It takes him a few minutes to reconnect with the current situation, but when he does, he shoots up from the bed.

_The rune._

_They have to draw the rune on me today, so I can spend the next two days training to use it._

He sighs and sets out to search James or Elisabeth.

He reaches the white room and finds them both crouched on the floor, studying intently a map of what seem to be… panels?

He clears his throat and their eyes shoot up to him.

Elisabeth smiles “Did you sleep well?” she asks, looking at him intently.

Alec nods.

“I haven’t slept so well in days” he admits.

“I’m glad,” she says, folding carefully the papers in her lap.

He does his best not to look at them.

“Well,” James says, standing up.

“It seems like we are ready to draw your rune” his voice is forcefully cheerful.

Alec looks at him, brows knit.

“Is there something wrong?” he asks him.

“It’s just that…well, it will be painful, Alec. This rune is as strong as the Angelic one. I simply don’t like the idea of hurting you, but still. It’s necessary. I’d hurt you more not drawing it” he says, sighing.

Alec understands. He remembers very well how much the Angelic rune hurt.

“Don’t worry. I’ve been through worse” he says, truthfully, trying to make James’ duty a little bit lighter.

“I’m sure” James answers, smiling weakly.

“Well, let’s get this over with,” Elisabeth says standing up, the papers now disappeared.

“I think it’s better if you lay down on your bed. And if you wear something more comfortable than jeans,” she says, eyeing him critically.

“And you need to be shirtless” she adds, as an afterthought.

“Go get changed and open the door when you are done,” James says.

“Meanwhile, we’ll get the correct image and some water” he completes.

Alec nods, an uneasy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach.

“Perfect. I’ll see you in a minute in my room, then” he says, turning around.

 

He puts on a pair of gym trousers, removing the dagger at his ankle to put it next to his other weapons.

Stripping off his shirt, he opens the door for the others.

James and Elisabeth are there in a second, and Alec does notice James’ eyes run to his chest and down to-his crotch?-.

“On the bed, please,” James says, in an attempt at joking, but his voice is too low, and Alec can clearly see the lust in his eyes.

_Shit_

Alec’s breath is caught in his throat for a moment.

Then he shakes himself out of this… haze… and lays on the bed without uttering a word.

He solely hopes not to have a hard-on with Elisabeth there.

It’d be truly embarrassing.

_Magnus._

 The name hits him with the strength of a punch.

 _The only person I should want is him_ , he tells himself, but then James steps closer to the bed –to him- and he realizes that there’s attraction between them, too.

He remembers how James always tries to touch him on the shoulders, how his eyes have lingered on his lips one too many times.

Silently, Elisabeth grabs his wrists and put them upside his head, holding them firmly.

He feels James' hand on his stomach, drawing small circles on his skin with his finger.

Alec locks his eyes with his and recognizes in those grey irises the same want he feels inside himself.

"Where do you want it drawn, Alex?" and it’s then that he notices the nickname.

Alex. Not Alec, not Alexander. It’s something different, and he likes it.

"On my right hip, please." he whispers. It’s the only free spot on his body he’s always wanted a rune upon.

James hums and presses gently a hand on his hipbone, massaging the spot.

Alec does his best not to moan.

But then James takes his stele and starts burning the rune on his skin, and Alec can’t do anything but to clench his jaw and squeeze his eyes shut, in an effort to stay silent.

The stele keeps burning his flesh for what feels like ages, and when it all ends Alec’s mind is fogged by pain.

He feels cold water on his forehead, on his dried lips, but is too out of it to understand clearly what’s happening, leave it to say “thank you”.

Someone then must draw a sleep rune on his chest, because it all goes black and he falls again in a dreamless sleep.  
  
  
  
  
He wakes up again at 6 a.m. on the following day.

His mind, still hazy for the too much sleep and the lingering echo of pain on his lower hip, strives to put together the events of the previous day.

Right. James. Elisabeth.

_James._

He remembers all too well how his body reacted to James’ desire as if it was the spark needed to set him on fire.

 _But I love Magnus, I still do_ he thinks.

“Sometimes, lust and love don’t go together, big brother,” he remembers Izzy telling him one night, not so long ago.

And maybe she is right.  It is his body’s need to be close to someone else.

Maybe that’s how it feels, to want a man without loving him.

 _There’s nothing wrong with it,_ he tells himself.

Magnus isn’t here, he can’t help him now and he doesn’t even want to.

_The situation is complicated enough as it is without your guilt complex._

_You have to leave Magnus outside your mind ‘till the end of this mess, and accept all the help you can get -You can’t do this alone._

… and then all he remembers is the pain.

He forces his accelerated pulse to steady, and it does.

_…it does?!_

_Has he just given an order to his heart?_

Then he gets it.

 _“It…enhances the control you have on your senses and your body”_ was it? What did Elisabeth say talking about the rune?

And if it’s true then…

He tries to  _listen_ and surprisingly he hears the thrum of his blood in his veins, the inaudible creak of the bed, the steady rhythm of someone _else’s_ breath.

His eyes snap open at the thought, and he finds Elisabeth and James looking at him from the open door.

He sits in the middle of the bed, _looking_ back at them

And, _Angels_ if he does. His sight is perfect. He can see everything.

From that one hair in Elisabeth’s ponytail that is sticking out, to the little specks of green in James’ otherwise completely grey eyes.

They lock their eyes for a moment, and a spark of electricity snaps between them.

“How does it feel?” James asks with a knowing smile.

He looks around enjoying the possibility to see dust particles wandering around the room.

“It’s… new” he says, and Elisabeth nods warmly.

“Do you feel like practicing today? You have to get used to you rune as quickly as possible” she says, studying him.

He almost glares because, really, _of course_ he feels like practicing today, _duh_ \- but they are almost strangers, so he restrains himself and answers with a polite “Of course. Just…give me a minute to shower and I’m in.”

Elisabeth smiles.

“I knew you’d say this. I’ll wait for you in the white room with breakfast, then.”

She turns around and leaves.

He is alone with James, now, whose eyes are fixed on Alec’s face as he steps hesitantly into the room.

James clears his throat uneasily and Alec raises his brows questioningly.

“You are beautiful, Alex” he blurts out, suddenly.

 “I’m actually very attracted to you…as I’m sure you noticed.” James lets out a high pitched, anxious laugh.

“But I’ve noticed how uneasy my attention make you feel. If it’s a problem for you… I’ll leave you to train with Elisabeth without any kind of troubles” His voice is calm now, earnest.

Alec opens up in what he hopes is a calming, easy smile and pats on the mattress gesturing for James to sit next to him.

“I kind of noticed, yeah. But I find you beautiful too, so it’s really not a problem” he admits, truthfully.

“The thing is -I’m in love with someone else. We-We kind of broke up just before I left for Idris. That’s why I may seem a little…uncomfortable” He explains, forcing his face not to show how truly painful saying this is for him and struggling to keep his voice steady.

“I see you have already learned how to use your rune” James comments, smiling weakly.

“And…” he continues, placing a hand upon Alec’s. “Alex, I’m not talking about love. Our bodies… they get on well. It’s that simple. Loving someone else doesn’t mean you can’t draw comfort from another person, especially if you really, really need it. Just… just don’t feel guilty for this. You are only human, and your body is functioning the way it’s supposed to.”

James squeezes his hand one more time and leaves, closing softly the door behind.

Alec sighs, running his hands through his hair.

_What a mess. I need a shower._

Under the cold water, he can finally feel the lingering pain of the rune leave his body.

 _I’m here for Jace. Not Magnus Nor James will distract me from my mission…and if I will ever think being with James would be of some kind of help, then so be it -_ he thinks firmly, shampooing his hair.

_I’ll deal with the aftermath after Sebastian is dead._

He steps out of the shower and slowly puts on a pair of gym pants and a white t-shirt.

Drying quickly his hair with a towel, he heads to the white room.

James and Elisabeth are already on the floor.

There’s a cup of coffee ready for him and a brioche right next to it.

He furrows his brows in confusion, sitting down.

“Where do these come from?” he asks, sipping the coffee.

James shrugs.

“A mundane bar at the end of the streets,” he says, taking a bite from his brioche.

Alec hums and starts eating his.

“It’s good” he comments.

They eat in a friendly silence for a moment, ‘till Elisabeth starts to talk.

“Well, James said you’re already starting using your new rune. It’s good but… Alex, you have to be careful. Your body already knows what to do, you interfering in certain situations can be dangerous. You have to be able to use your rune at times, when you need it, not always. If you aren’t able to tell when you are using it or not, you could end up dying because you ordered your heart to stop beating” she says, looking intently at him.

Alec nods, slowly.

“I didn’t think about it” he admits. “But I understand, yeah”

James flashes him a smile.

“Very well then. You have two or three days to learn how to not kill yourself and we need to start practicing,” he states, getting up.

Alec and Elisabeth follow suit.

They throw the empty cups in the bin-which, obviously, comes out of the wall- and head to the training room.

The first exercise has the purpose of making him aware of what the rune is doing and what  _his body_  is doing.

It’s not an actual physical exercise, because he has to focus on his body reaction at certain inputs and try to understand whether his body is answering in a certain way because of itself or because of the rune- it works on a more…. psychological level.

The trick is, he discovers, attempt after attempt, to  _tell_  the rune when to work, and to use it for something specific.

For example, he has to will  _just_  his eyes not to blink, not keeping his entire face under his will’s control.

So when he manages to switch the rune on and off a few times, Elisabeth claps her hands in satisfaction and says they can move on to the next exercise.

…and this involves physical contact.

Because, to quote James, “one thing is to have minutes to take its power under your control, another is to do it while doing something else”.

After the tenth time, Elisabeth forces him down on the floor because he is too distracted by anything- from James’ breaths on the other side of the room, to that bird flying outside the institute- he starts to understand how to permanently have the rune power ready at your disposal without using it.

At the fifteenth time, he manages to best her, and James claps excitedly.

The very next exercise is about closing out the rune’s power entirely.

So they put a target for him to hit at an unbelievable distance, and he has to try not using the heightened sense of sight to hit the bull’s eye.

It’s difficult, his eyes switching from focused to unfocused every other minute, but, in the end, he manages to land the arrow on the target but not on the center.

Elisabeth cheers loudly and rushes to the white room to bring back the wine to celebrate.

James, on the other hand, starts coming closer to him, until their faces are so very near he can feel the other’s breath on his lips.

Their eyes lock and James whispers “ I just wanted to try this” and kisses him, tenderly and forcefully at the same time, on his cheek.

Alec feels the blush creeping up his face and understands what game James’ playing.

So he keeps the rune’s power at bay, letting his cheeks becoming flushed.

When James’ lips part from his heated skin, James smirks at him and winks.

“You are so beautiful like this, red cheeks” he teases.

But before Alec can do something very painful and very physical to him in response, Elisabeth comes back with sandwiches and drinks to celebrate, so they spend an hour having lunch and they start training again shortly after.

  

 

James takes a deep breath and then starts talking, without even looking at him.

It’s Monday, and James in his room finally explaining to him the details of his mission.

Both he and Elisabeth – who is now lost somewhere in the Institute doing Elisabeth-y things- deemed Alec ready yesterday evening, so here they are.

Alec is listening to him intently, leaning against the wall of his room.

“ Sebastian… he is in league with the Seelies. They have gifted him an interdimensional place… which is why every attempt at locating him has failed.”

James sighs deeply and Alec  _knows_ he won’t like the next part.

“ We know Sebastian shows up at the Ganesh club in Italy every Friday night. He finds one or two guys or girls to fuck and then takes them home.

They usually come back safe and sound, but with no memories of their time with him.

If you could... Be one of those guys, you would be able to sneak inside his home.

We already have the profile of his usual targets, and we know how to effectively hide your runes to him…. So, the problem won’t be getting him to choose you.

Once you are inside his house, however, you will have to be particularly careful not to arouse any suspicions and only when he lets his guard down,  you will have to stab him with a particular sword we already have here... It's been secretly forged by the Silver Sisters with the heavenly fire, and it should be enough to sever the connection between your parabatai and that monster... it has the same propriety of your arch. You can will it to be in your hand, and it shall appear…. Wherever you are”

There's a stunned silence as his words start sinking inside Alec's mind.

“I'm sorry,” James says, quietly.

He knows what he is asking Alec to do.

He knows it very well but still...

He has to  _fuck_  Sebastian- or at the very least kiss him. There's no other way not to arouse any suspicions.

He purposefully avoids thinking about Magnus- just name of the warlock enough to make him crumble.

He clenches his jaw and nods, as the good soldier he is.

James steps closer to him, stroking gently his cheeks.

“This won't break you, Alexander Lightwood.”

And Alec kisses him, because today is Monday, and they have just five days to prepare him for this.

Because he needs the feeling of a warm body against his, in a desperate attempt at reassuring himself.

And James understands him, so he lets himself be kissed, hugging him tightly, caressing gently Alec's tongue with his.

“ You are stronger than this. A fighter, remember? You will go there, kill that bastard and save your parabatai in the meanwhile. Clear?” he murmurs softly as they part.

“ Stay with me tonight,” Alexander asks abruptly, surprising both James and himself.

_I don't want to be alone._

He feels weak, but he can't help it- so he surrenders.

James looks at him closely, carefully.

“ We... We won't have sex tonight, Alec.” he states, quietly.

Alec nods, feeling alone and afraid.

“ I know... I know. Just... Just kiss me and stay with me tonight.”

James seems to understand exactly what he needs and how he needs it, because he takes him by the hand and leads him to the bed.

They lay there, exchanging soft and wet kisses until they both fall asleep

 

 

The next five days are hell.

Elisabeth and James train him restlessly, day and night, without any pause.

The training is both physical – he has to know how to call for the sword at the right moment, and he can’t possibly fail- and psychological.

And, _Angels_ , is the psychological one fucking hard.

They glamour themselves as Sebastian, or Jace, or Clary, and ask him to behave as if he were in the real situation.

So by the end of the week, he has already kissed and fucked Sebastian a handful of time, fought against his parabatai again and again, and lied to Clary just as much.

It’s terrifying –it truly, _really_ is- but he knows it’s useful, so he lets them do it.

 _He has to be ready_.

 

…After all, Jace  _is_  under the control of Sebastian, and it is highly probable that, should the mission fail and should Alec be captured,  the monster would decide that it’s Jace duty to kill his own parabatai.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I'll be sincere.  
> I don't like this chapter very much. I'd say this is the worst one yet out of all of them, but still... It's quite important.  
> Get ready for the next, though, it will be one hell of a ride and we'll get to see Magnus!!  
> A hurrah! For Malec!!  
> So, stay tuned and leave kudos -they are free!  
> Sara
> 
> P.S. I'm obviously going to finish posting this story, but I'm not actually completely satisfied with it-I mean, I like the plot, it's the writing that... buh, I don't know. I was thinking about re-editing it. So if any of you guys is willing to beta-in something.... ;)


	4. Sebastian's doom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Here we are! I have to admit I'm really proud of this chapter, I hope you'll like it as well :)  
> So, as usual, please remember I'm not an English speaker, so bear with me...
> 
> WARNING! This chapter may be a bit... triggering. There's a particularly violent scene and I don't know if I should list Rape-Non Con in the tags, just to be sure. So, if you are particularly susceptible to violence or not canonical sex, please, skip this chapter. I'll write a brief summary at the beginning of the next to let you know what you missed. And if you think I should list any other tags, just tell me. I'll gladly add them.
> 
> Now, enjoy!
> 
> P.S. This is actually the end of any action. I'd say the next chapter will feature mainly malec and cute moments between Alec and Jace.
> 
> ....Oooops, I almost forgot. There's a reference to Once upon a time here. Can you spot it? ;)

Stepping into the Ganesh, the first thing Alec notices is Sebastian sitting by the counter.

The place is nice, modern, cold and he gets why that bastard likes it- they are strangely, perversely alike.

He slowly reaches for the chair next to Sebastian’s and orders himself a scotch.

Every little detail of his behaviour and his look has been studied carefully.

Killian Jones has been created to seduce and charm Sebastian and Sebastian only.

There's no Alec Lightwood here tonight.

He sips his drink slowly, eyes focused on a faraway point.

He is not looking at his target but he can feel his eyes boring upon his skin.

He wills his body not to shiver from abhorrence.

Sebastian is watching him intently, so Alec passes gently his tongue upon his lips, to catch the lingering flavour of the alcohol.

He feels Sebastian gaze heathen up and forces himself not to run away, even if it is the only thing he really wants right now. Run away and hide inside Magnus’ loft, to be exact.

_Do. Not. Fucking. Think. About. Magnus._

Focus.

He takes another sip from his glass, appreciating the burn of the alcohol down his throat, careful to put his lips on the rim in a very sensual way.

He feels a hand resting on his knee and slowly turns his head to face Sebastian.

As he catches his lusted stare, Alec tilts his head to the side, as if trying to innocently study him, and licks his lips again.

“Good evening,” he says, deep and rough - _just as he knows Sebastian likes._

He is feeling  _nauseous_.

Once again, Alec wills his body not to throw up.                                                 

_Thank the Angels for that ID rune_

Sebastian smiles at him a hungry and cautious smile.

“ You seem to be truly enjoying your drink, Mr...?” Sebastian says, in an effort at being polite.

Alec smiles back, unguarded and sexy.

“ Mr. Jones, but call me Killian. And yes, I...always enjoy tasting something strong on my tongue” he makes his cheeks blush gracefully as he looks at his target from under his prolonged eyelashes.

He can’t help but feel disgusted by himself as he says the last part.

 _Hey, it’s working. That’s what matters_.

The bastard starts stroking his upper leg and Alec forces a moan out of his lips.

Sebastian's eyes become clouded with want at the sound, and his hand reaches for his crotch.

And Alec is forced to think about James -  _not Magnus, never Magnus_ \- to get himself hard.

Sebastian leans in and whispers in his ear “ Don't you want to take this somewhere else, you pretty thing? I have a home nearby that could prove itself useful”

 Alec wants to jump in joy as he rests a hand on Sebastian's arm, but his expression stays artfully innocent and charmed.

“There's nothing I'd love more” he all but moans in response.

Sebastian growls.

“ Very well then, follow me. And be quiet. There are other two people living in the house with me. I don’t want to wake them”

His heart stops for a minute.

_Jace and Clary._

_Jace._

_It’s working_.

He follows Sebastian out of the bar.

The demon pins him to the wall, right next to the entrance, kissing him thoroughly.

Alec lets himself be manhandled like that, kissing the guy right back with matching passion.

His pupils are perfectly wide for the  _supposed_  pleasure of the moment as he grinds against Sebastian.

_Do. Not Throw. Up._

Sebastian runs his hands along his body in what could seem a sexy gesture, but Alec knows better: the demon is looking for weapons.

So he stays quiet as Sebastian lowers and grabs fiercely his ass.

_First he takes me home, then I can kill him._

Seemingly satisfied, Sebastian parts from his body and takes him by the hand.

“Follow me, young mundane, my home is right around the corner,” he says, and Alec smiles at him with wander plain in his innocent, artificial green eyes.

 

As it turns out, the portal to the interdimensional house is hidden behind the wooden door of a near apartment.

As they step out of it, Sebastian throws himself to Alec, effectively obstructing his vision of the apartment.

The demon kisses him against the door, using too much tongue and too much hands.

 _Dear God, how many does he have_?

Alec wills his body to answer Sebastian’s assault, kissing him back just as passionately.

A “Bleah!” forces the demon to part from him as the both of them turn towards the new arrival.

Alec’s heart stops dead for a moment and then starts beating again with double his normal speed.

 _Jace_.

_Finally, I found you._

But then his training kicks in, and he forces his heart to calm down and his expression to be a bit annoyed but still turned on.

_“Remember, when and if you see Jace before having killed Sebastian, he is not the person you know. So be careful not to betray yourself because he is your enemy just as much as Sebastian. Don’t let him destroy all we have worked for”_

Elisabeth’s words, all the psychological exercises plus the indifferent cold look in Jace’s eyes help him ground himself.

_I’ve already been in this situation. This is no different. Pretend he is just James glamoured as Jace._

So he circles Sebastian’s waist with his arms, nuzzling his head against his shoulder.

“Who is this?” he asks, annoyed.

Sebastian shrugs.

“Go play in Clary’s room, Jace, don’t you see we have…guests?” the demon says, kissing Alec again.

He hears Jace steps recede in what Alec thinks is the general direction for Clary’s room.

 _From the entrance to the right_.

Sebastian leads him towards his bedroom and pushes Alec on the bed.

 _“Once you are inside, Alec, please be patient. I’m… aware of what this could mean but you have to be absolutely sure that Sebastian has lowered his guards. This may be the only way we have to kill him. So… be patient”_ James has told him that very morning, and Alec knows he was right.

But still, letting that demon pull both of their shirts away and unzipping his pants without killing him on the spot takes every ounce of will he has inside his body.

So Alec moans as Sebastian leads his right hand towards his hard cock, and starts jacking him off, with seemingly his same abandon.

But he is studying him closely and can physically see the moment in which the demon’s guard falls.

As the orgasm starts to overwhelm Sebastian, Alec swiftly moves his left hand around the invisible handle of the sword and can feel it suddenly materialize itself in his grasp. Without losing any more time, he sinks it into the demon’s body, right through the heart.

He can see the surprise and the lust in Sebastian’s eyes as he realizes what has just happened, his cock jerks one last time and the demon falls back on the bed, his body still and unmoving. Lifeless.

_Dying turned him on._

And Alec can’t take it anymore.

He turns his head towards the floor and throws up.

He is shivering when his stomach is finally empty.

He closes his eyes for a minute, trying to focus again.

_This really is not the time for a panic attack._

“ _Ok, listen carefully. Once you have killed the bastard, you need to draw the location rune right next to his body. We’ll be ready to locate you and reach you within seconds. We need to bring his body back to Idris to be sure he is burned, this time._

 _Your parabatai should faint as a result of the parting wills, so you’ll have approximatively ten minutes to sort yourself out before meeting him and the Fairchild girl_.”

He remembers James’ words with alarming clarity and they help him keep his cool mind.

He can feel the chasm inevitably waiting for him, but he needs to stay focused for another while still.

_Ok_

Put your shirt on.

Draw the rune.

Go look for Jace.

_Jace is free. He is ok._

Just the thought gives him the strength he needs to keep going.

So he gets up, reaches for his shirt, managing not to look at Sebastian’s body in the process because, really, it’s disgusting, and puts it on.

He wipes his dirty hands on the covers and draws the location rune next to the bed.

 _I absolutely need to wash my hands_ he thinks offhandedly while waiting for the backup against the door jambs.

In less than ten seconds, a portal opens inside the room and James, Elisabeth and three other guards step out of it.

Alec sees the disgust twist their faces as they take in the scene before their eyes, but they recover fairly quickly.

Two of the guards wrap Sebastian’s body inside a plastic bag while his trainers silently reach for him.

“Do you have wet wipes?” he asks them, out of the blue, because he really needs to see Jace now and he doesn’t want to touch a single object from this devilish house but he also needs to rid himself of the…. Residue of…

He wills his stomach not to throw up  _again_.

“Of course,” Elisabeth says, quietly, handing him one.

“Thank you” he murmurs, trying to clean himself as best as he can.

“You… you go check on Jace and Clary.  The guard will come with you and he’ll get a portal open for you three when you are ready.  You’ll go back to New York.

The institute is already back to functioning, so I imagine you’ll be free to go in your room.  We’ll deal with this mess. For all the public knows, anyways, you came here by yourself and killed Sebastian alone. We’ll think about the official version and the aftermath of this mission with you in a couple of days. Stick to the public opinion. Are Jace and Clary unharmed?” James asks, quietly.

And Alec appreciates his professional efficiency more than he can say.

It helps him not to let his own sanity go.

“As far as I know they are,” he says, burning the dirty tissue with a rune.

“You’ve been great, Alex. And… I know it will take time for you to be willing to see us again, but I sincerely esteem you and your work and I’d like to see you again sometimes.” James says, sincerely.

But the only thought of seeing them again is making him feeling antsy.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’ll take time” he replies, honestly.

“We’ll always be here for you, Alex. Now go fetch your parabatai.” Elisabeth says, and he catches a glimpse of regret in James’ eyes before heading out of the room, but doesn’t find in himself the strength to care.

_From the entrance to the right_

He traces back their steps to the entrance- the guard following him closely-, then tentatively steps in the corridor on his right.

There’s only one closed door and he is ready to bet it’s Clary’s.

Feeling the glamour fade away from his body he rushes to open it and, just as suspected, finds Clary and Jace.

Clary is kneeling on the floor, Jace’s head on her lap, but her eyes shoot up quickly as she hears the noise of the handle.

Her eyes widen for a second and she whispers “Alec! Thank God!” while he rushes at the side of his parabatai.

Jace is still out cold, but paying attention to their bond Alec can finally  _feel_  him.

_He is alive._

_He is going to be ok._

_You saved him._

Alec’s hands are shaking with relief as he squeezes gently one of Jace’s hands.

_I’m taking you home._

As the success of the mission slowly starts to sink in his mind, he realizes that Clary has been talking to him the whole time.

Reluctantly, he diverts his eyes from his finally safe parabatai and focuses them on Clary.

“How did you find us? Will Jace be ok? Did you kill Sebastian?” she is asking, without even breathing in between her questions.

So he nods slowly, feeling suddenly bone tired.

“I saw Sebastian. I followed him. I killed him- that ’s why Jace has fainted. He’ll be fine.” he answers, slowly.

She seems to finally look-  _look-_  at him and shuts up.

“Are you ok?” she asks then, hesitantly.

He nods, turning his head towards the guard.

“I think it’s time for that portal” he states, and the man nods.

As a swirling blue portal appears inside the room, Alec forces himself to stand up.

“Let’s go home, Clary. I’ll explain to you all you want tomorrow. Now, can you help me carry him?” he asks, aware that his body is slowly shutting down and he won’t be able to carry Jace’s dead-weight alone.

She nods, eying him warily.

_By the Angel, I must look a total wreck._

He lifts Jace from the floor and with Clary’s help the three of them step through the portal, followed by the guard.

As they arrive at the Institute, his senses are suddenly overloaded.

He hears a lot of voices, a lot of pressure.

_I need to be alone. I need to take a fucking shower. I can still feel Sebastian’s come on my hand._

_…And I need to throw up._

He carefully places Jace’s body inside the guard’s arms.

“Take him to the infirmary, please,” he says, looking at him straight in the eyes.

“And take her with you, too” he adds, after taking a good look at Clary, who seems on the verge of fainting.

_I trust you with him. I can’t stay here anymore and you know why, but I need him to be safe._

Alec’s eyes are pleading and the guard nods, respect obvious in his look.

He opens up in a weak smile.

“Thank you”

As familiar arms wrap around his waist- Izzy? Magnus?- and too many voices shout something like “Alec! What’s happened?” “Sebastian?” “Did you save them?”  he finally has enough.

He frees himself from the holds on his body and shouts to the crowd “We’ll explain it all tomorrow. Now, I need to pass and you need to let me go”.

There’s a stunned silence and people seem to finally realize the condition he is in.

He pushes bodies away and heads to his room, wanting nothing else other than a shower and a bed.

_And tomorrow I’ll check on Jace._

_He is fine, and he is here._

He hears steps following him down the corridors of the Institute and sighs.

_Isabelle._

So he stops dead and turns around.

His body freezes.

There are Isabelle and Magnus right in front of him.

The sight of the warlock hits him like a punch in his guts and he hopes his legs will stay strong and keep supporting his weight.

_I won’t faint. I need to take a shower first._

“You need to go to the infirmary too, Alexander,”  Magnus says, his voice slightly shaky as he takes a step closer.

Izzy seems too petrified to say anything.

And Alec finally looks at him, drinking him in as his heart threatens to beat out of his chest.

_I missed you so much._

“Magnus” he whispers, stunned.

The warlock looks at him so tenderly that Alec feels his eyes sting with tears.

It’s been so much time since someone’s last looked at him with so much love.

“Alexander, darling, come on, we need to take you to the infirmary” he says, his voice a soothing velvet.

But Alec shakes his head firmly.

“I need to be alone for a while. I’m sorry,” he whispers, turning around again.

He is about to disappear behind the door of his room when he hears Izzy’s voice calling.

“Hey! Big brother! Thank you for keeping your promise!” she says, eyes watery but a fond smile on her lips.

Both she and Magnus are still where he has left them

He smiles back at her.

“You’d have killed me otherwise” he retorts, closing the door behind himself.

And it’s there, in his dark room at the institute, that he finally allows himself to breathe.

_Shower. I need a shower._

He strips mechanically of his clothes and leaves them on the floor.

_They are trash anyways._

With a sigh of relief, he throws himself under the cold water.

He rubs the sponge on his hands, his chest and his face almost reducing his skin to bleed.

But he has to rid himself of the lingering sensation of Sebastian’s body against his, of the pain, the fear, the stress that fuelled him during his intense week of training.

And he feels hollow, at the end, stepping out of the shower.

His body has been drawn to exhaustion and his mind is now numb, fuzzy.

With the obnoxious ghost of Sebastian’s lips finally gone, he throws himself on the bed and falls asleep just like that, with a towel around his hips.


	5. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok- here's a short summary of the fourth chapter:  
> Alec managed to seduce Sebastian, who brought him home- the same home he shared, btw, with Jace and Clary.  
> Alec killed him and saved the other two.  
> The moment when this chapter starts, Alec is sleeping, half-naked, on his bed.  
> -.-.-.-.-.-.-
> 
> Alright, I'll leave you to the story, now. Enjoy :)
> 
> P.S. There are parts of this chapter taken shamelessly from Claire's work. It's, of course, hers. I'm not trying to gain profit out of it or anything. I'm innocent, just so you know.

Alexander wakes up after what feels like seconds, shivering.

It takes him more than a minute to realize _why_ he’s shivering- there’s just a little towel to cover his body, nothing more.

The information brings back a whole lot of unpleasant memories, and Alec forces himself not to think about that mess, reaching instead for his parabatai rune.

The steady thrum of emotions flowing through their bond puts his mind more at ease.

Still, it isn’t enough.

He needs to see Jace, to be able to touch him and make sure this isn’t an illusion.

So he sits up, running a hand through his hair with a sigh- he’s tired. Worn out, mentally and physically.

 _It’s still wet_ , he notices, then casts a glance towards the alarm on his nightstand.

Well, no wonder it felt like seconds- he’s slept less than a couple of hours.

But he’s up now, and there’s no way he won’t go and check on his parabatai.

He dresses up quickly, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, and pads out of his room, bringing with him just his stele and a small dagger hidden in his right sleeve – he doesn’t think he’ll ever go unarmed ever again, actually.

Sneaking into the infirmary is easy- he’s done that for years.

His eyes settle on the sleeping figure of Jace almost as soon as he steps into the dark room, and he can almost feel his heart lighten into his chest at the sight.

His lips curl up as he reaches for the bed and tentatively rests a hand on his parabatai’s.

And that does it- the feeling of warmth, the snore, too.

It all helps him realize that Jace’s here, alive and well.

That he’s done it- really, finally done it. The nightmare’s over.

Alec wants to cry and laugh at the same time- He wants to wake up Jace and hug him tightly and never, ever, ever, let go of him again.

But his parabatai needs sleep and Alec does, too- he can feel his eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with every passing second.

But there’s no way he’ll simply leave Jace into the infirmary- the idea alone of being apart from him now makes him feel uneasy, restless.

So he drags one of the infirmary’s lousy chairs next to his brother’s bed and curls up on it, resting his head on his knees.

With his eyes never leaving Jace’s body- _he has to keep watch. Alec feels like his parabatai would simply disappear were he to look away, and he can’t let that happen ever again_.-  he falls asleep for the second time.

-.-.-.-

_It hurts._

_Everything hurts._

_"Jace!" he shouts in the dark._

_There's no answer, and he realizes the pain is coming from his parabatai rune._

_Horrible realization hits him, as he begins to convulse on his bed._

_"Let me go! No, no, no JACE! Be alive, be alive, please. Kill me instead" he begs, tears streaming down his cheeks._

But then a hand shakes him gently and Alec's eyes snap open.

His hand’s ready with the dagger in the blink of an eye the very moment he realizes there’s someone else in the room.

It takes him more than a second to realize that the person he’s threatening with the knife is only Magnus Bane and another one for his eyes to reach Jace’s sleeping figure.

Then, his mind finally collects the dots and Alec lets himself fall back into the chair with a sigh.

The warlock, however, is looking at him silently and Alec recognizes the worried glint in his eyes.

Then, with a swirl of blue sparks, Magnus conjures a chair and sits down next to him.

They both are quiet for a moment, and Alec’s eyes are back on the still figure of Jace, reassuring himself again and again that his parabatai’s there, safe and sound.

It was just a nightmare.

He can’t bring himself, however, to forget Magnus’ presence and fall asleep again as his body’s begging him to do.

He’s aware, with every inch of his body, of every subtle movement the warlock makes.

How his cat eyes can’t help but coming back to Alec every few seconds, how his slim fingers are fidgeting nervously with the many rings adorning them.

Then the silence becomes too much, and Alec finds himself opening his mouth to speak.

“Magnus” he finally lets out hoarsely with a small smile- he really is happy to see him, after all.  He just doesn’t feel ready for it, though.

“Alexander” Magnus’ voice is soft and calm, but Alec recognizes the shakiness beneath the surface.

“I thought I’d find you here” the warlock admits, whispering.

Alec shrugs, and there’s another quiet moment then, as the two of them seat silently next to each other.

It feels comfortable this time, right, and Alec has to remind himself not to be deceived by the easiness of it all.

They are still broken up, after all, and Magnus’ heart is not as open as he makes it to be.

“I’m glad you are ok. For a moment… I thought I’d lost you” Magnus whispers all of a sudden.

Instinctively, Alec’s hand reaches for the warlock’s and squeezes it gently.

He doesn’t know how to answer him.

_I’m glad I’m ok, too?_

_Why do you care anyway, if you are going to leave me again?_

And _I’m not as ok as I seem to be. If I let myself be distracted, I can still smell the smell of Sebastian’s come mixed with his blood._

 He shudders at his last thought. He knows he’ll never be the same. He’s gone too far for that.

“You know…” Magnus begins, and Alec doesn’t know if it’s the tone of his voice – more serious, heavier- or the stiffness in his posture that makes Alec freeze instantly.

He knows what’s coming. What is it that Magnus wants to talk about now.

“You saved me,” Magnus says, gently, and Alec looks up at him, surprised, his eyes leaving Jace’s sleeping form willingly for the first time.

The warlock isn’t looking at him, however.

His eyes are fixed on the rings on his fingers, barely shining in the dark.

“You saved me, because I was petrifying. I was… slowly forgetting my past, my history and myself with it. You forced me to remember who I was and who I am. Until you walked into that party, I was starting to think I’d never feel anything that strongly again.” he says, voice frail.

And Alec doesn’t want to do anything else except to take him into his arms and hold him tightly, but he knows he can’t because he still doesn’t understand.         

“What are you saying?” Alec says, his voice wavering while he looks back at his parabatai. “That you want to get back together?”

“If you want to” Magnus answers, uncertain, his eyes slowly rising to meet Alec’s.

In the dark, his cat-like pupils are shining brightly with unshed tears and barely-concealed hope and Alec feels bad, because he really just wants to say yes a thousand times, but he knows that, should they get back to the relationship they had, he wouldn’t be able to make it work again.

“I don’t know” he whispers, bluntly.

Too many things have changed. He feels broken. He _is_ broken. He’s not the same person he was, and he doubts he will ever be that person again. There’s James, Sebastian, the crippling fear of having lost his parabatai and his new job at the ID6 in between the two versions of himself.

He sees the hurt in Magnus’ face, in his body, in how the warlock starts fidgeting with his rings again, but he can’t bring himself to renege his words.

“I can understand that you—I wasn’t very kind to you,” Magnus says quickly, almost stumbling upon his own words, and it takes all of Alec’s willpower not to surrender and kiss him on the spot, to make that uncertainty vanish from his face.

Alec shakes his head instead, clenching his fists.

_This is not the problem_

“No- Alec says gently -You weren’t, but I guess it’s hard to break up with someone kindly. The thing is, I am sorry about what I did. I was wrong. Incredibly wrong. But the reason I did it, that isn’t going to change. I can’t go through my life feeling like I don’t know you at all. You keep saying the past is the past, but the past made you who you are. I want to know about your life. And if you’re not willing to tell me about it, then I shouldn’t be with you. Because I know me, and I won’t ever be okay with it. So I shouldn’t put us both through that again.”

Alec watches Magnus as he pulls his knees up to his chest, pain etched on his face.

But he needs him to understand so that they can move on together.

_The issue of his immortality can wait and… and the whole mess he’s gotten himself into, too,  but this… this is fundamental._

“I love you,” the warlock says, apologetically, and Alec... Alec is taken aback.

“Don’t-Don’t. It’s not fair” he says.

It’s a low blow. Alec turns away and his eyes fall back on Jace, his heart beating quickly in his ribcage.

“Alexander…- Magnus starts, and this time is voice seems more strong, more decisive. –You are right”

Alec turns to stare at him, completely dumbfounded.

Magnus’ lips quirk on the corner at his expression.

“It’s not fair to you and …. I wrote this. I wrote down my life.” A notebook appears in Magnus’ hand with a twirl of blue sparks and Alec can’t help but stare at it in disbelief.

“Your whole life?”

Magnus hands it to him, and Alec takes it delicately.

“Not all of it” he answers, carefully, searching Alec’s face for his reaction.

But Alec is stunned, so he silently keeps staring at the notebook in his hands with stupor.

“I want to share my life with you, and that means today, and the future, and all of my past, if you want it. If you want me.” Magnus says at the end, vulnerability plain in his voice.

And Alec knows that the warlock is sincere. That he has just cut himself open for him to see.

And he… he will always choose Magnus, even before his own needs. Sue him.

But there’s something else he needs to tell the warlock, if they really want to try and make their relationship work for good, this time.

“I…Magnus, a lot of things have changed” Alec blurts out, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“I might be… broken, now, and the situation I’m in… It’s more complicated than it seems. If you want to get back with me… You have to consider the possibility that  I may never be completely honest with you” he whispers it all quickly, and the words spill out of him painfully easily. 

Magnus blinks slowly and then whispers “I don’t care”

Alec feels himself freeze in disbelief.

“You don’t care?” he repeats, slowly.

“I don’t,” Magnus confirms, squeezing Alec’s hand gently.

“How can you not…?” He is about to ask, but the warlock stops him.

“You misunderstand me, darling. I care. I care a lot. In fact, I care for you and all the things about you decidedly too much. But nothing could make me leave you now. Not when I’ve just had you back again. Whatever…these matters are, we’ll get through them together in time”

“Are you sure?”

He waits, almost holding his breath.

“I am indeed”

Alec almost laughs at the relief flowing through him as he leans closer to Magnus, resting his head on the warlock’s shoulder.

His eyes are back on Jace- checking almost unconsciously if his parabatai is still there- but he feels finally at peace, there, snuggled against the warmth of Magnus’ body.

He’s almost fallen asleep again when Jace starts panting and trashing on the white sheets.

Alec’s next to him in a heartbeat, holding his parabatai’s hand in between his own.

“Alec… Alec, no” Jace’s whispering, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Alec shakes him firmly, his heart breaking at the moans of absolute despair coming from his parabatai.

“Jace! Jace, I’m here. You’re ok, we’re back at the institute” he whispers, soothingly, as Jace’s eyes open slowly.

It seems to take him a while to discern reality from nightmare, and Alec keeps holding his hand, murmuring again and again “You’re ok, Parabatai. I’m here”  He can feel Magnus’ pressing a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving the infirmary- and he’s immensely grateful for the deep understanding between him and the warlock.

Then Jace stops shaking and Alec squeezes his hand gently.

“Alec” he croaks out, his golden eyes focusing on Alec’s form, finally conscious.

“I’m here” he whispers back, and he sees the tiniest smile curl up Jace’s lips.

“You did it, didn’t you? You killed him” Jace’s voice is weak and hoarse, but Alec can hear a hint of pride and relief underneath it all.

Alec smiles as his heart swells. Jace is alive. Talking to him. They’re together, again. Finally.

“I did” he confirms. “I couldn’t very well leave you at his mercy, could I?” he teases, but his voice is shaky and he’s fighting back the tears of relief threatening to spill from his eyes.

Jace lets out a shaky laugh, but Alec can see his eyes already closing.

“Sleep, Jace, come on. I’ll be here tomorrow” he encourages, and Jace squeezes his hand.

“Stay close to me, parabatai” he whispers, before his eyelids finally close and he passes out.

“Always,” Alec swears to himself, pressing a kiss on his brother’s forehead.

Then he reaches for the chair and pulls it closer to Jace’s bed, curling up on it again, his parabatai’s hand still held tightly in his grasp.

He falls asleep shortly after- feeling safe, finally, for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, did you like it?  
> I'm sorry I've kept you waiting so long, but I couldn't find a version of this chapter I liked. I just kept writing and re-writing it.  
> I still don't like it, to be truthful, but I figured I had better post it anyways instead of leaving this story without a proper epilogue.  
> That said, I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless and I thank you for your support- It really means a lot to me.


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